No start

[Mr Funk]

can switch onto first stage and the fuel pump goes "whir". Try to start it and get nothing. Think I can hear the click but there's no spark. If all that makes sense.
Thought it as the same problem I had before but all the plugs are firmly in the fuse box.

[Nate]

just a click and the engine doesn't turn at all? sounds like you've got bat flattery there mr funk sir. flick the headlights on and see if they're nice and bright. if they're not, it's flat. if they are, leave them on and try starting it again. if they more or less go out then it is flat.

also worth checking the earth onto the gearbox is clean and tight

[Mr Funk]

Hooked it up to the diesel and it started first time.
Sir is owed an English pint.

[Nate]

was there a cause for it going flat? was it weeks and weeks since last it was started, had you left something on or do you have an electrical drain you need to find?

[Mr Funk]

Not sure to be honest. It's probably a lot to do it it being an old battery. It doesn't get used during the week for the most part unless I'm working locally then ued at the weekend. If i'm working on it then I tend to run the stereo as well.

[Nate]

If i'm working on it then I tend to run the stereo as well.

that's probably it. goodo :)

[KindredSpirit]

When it goes 'whirr' - does it do it again when you try and start her again.
If not, it could be fuel pump relay, or the pump itself. Had a similar prob last year, RAC sorted me with the relay, but didn't last that long.
They have a habit of giving up (at our age ).
Think it's number 17 on the relay but not sure (Haynes aren't that helpful on this).
Had to have mine bypassed.
Flipping 'eck, I sound like a pensioner.
Cheers
John

[Mr Funk]

It's either the battery or the alternator but without a voltmeter I can't find out which.

Which leads me onto.....

If you have a full closure alarm system and no locks/boot button and you never actually got round to wiring up the over ride switch don't be surprised if you can't get into your car.

[Nate]

a concealed jumpstart point hidden somewhere underneath the car wold be a useful addition here methinks

[Mr Funk]

a concealed jumpstart point hidden somewhere underneath the car wold be a useful addition here methinks

Indeed.
There is one but it's in the car as I was concealing it within all the other gubbins. Luckily I found another way.