Scirocco Register

As I confessed on the gear linkage thread, I have previously owned a Maestro, which was pretty dire. However, I have also owned not one, but two Peugeot 309's. Both have been "I need a cheap car NOW" jobs. They served a purpose, but did it in the most boring, lacklustre, uninspiring way possible. The interior of the 309 seemed to have been produced in a joint venture between Fisher Price and Lego.

My last 309, which cost £100, eventually died from HGF because those crazy French guys decided to locate the only metal link in the cooling system at the bottom of the engine, where it would pick up the maximum amount of road crap and therefore rot and deposit all its coolant onto the A45.

Luckily, at the same time, my then-girlfriend's cousin was looking to sell his VW Scirocco Scala "Pocket Rocket".

The rest, as they say, is history...

I have had 2 Reliant Robins...
To be fair, they were quite nippy until you came to a corner.

Agree on the French cars thing, have had a 309gti and still have a 205gti, both of them are huge fun and have excellent handling but really don't want to use them everyday cos of crap drivability in town, dodgy electrics due to crap wiring that is busy corroding to bits under its insulation and bits of trim falling off while driving it. However for a weekend toy they are fantastic, they have character to go with the faults.

Crappiest car i've driven was also a Peugeot but a 307hdi company car, very very slow. Was in convoy with 2 sciroccos on the way to a No-Rice meet and i couldn't keep up with them when trying to overtake slow moving traffic on the motorway, proof of how bad it was was being outdragged by a Citroen 2cv when trying to join the M3! It was on the flat and i was coming down the sliproad!

How did I miss this thread!!

My Dad spend weeks choosing a Talbot Horizon 1.5. - : Car of the year (!) researching the best fuel comsuption etc etc.


Turned out to be the most boring piece of metal on 4 wheels (and he got rid of a rather old Mk2 jag for this!) my brother reckoned you had to send it a postcard when you wanted to turn a corner...

However the scariest car must be one of these... (lada estate)


I borrowed one from a plasterer (who must have overloaded it too often) it crabbed along at 45 degrees and then wouldn't take the corner..........

Blast from the past!

Having happy handed over the keys to the shat wagon I mentioned on page one I'd like to update it. Being a vauxhall it was underpowered and handled like a drunken tramp on the dodgems. But it took three years of constant, hateful abuse from me (drunken kids running over it one nit, me reversing it into a wall etc etc) and still sat there showing me the v signs and calling my mum a slag as it was loaded onto the low loader to be auctioned the next day while I threw my filth over the new Seat. For that reason it cannot be the worst car ever.
Worst car was a mates Ford Onion with a claimed 148 bhp which must have been true as the rocker cover was painted purple. Cut springs, wiring held together with sticking plasters, there was no end to it's Dagenham Dustbin crapulence.

worst car we had in the family was a montego 1.9tdi estate
i really do think if it didnt have a turbo it wouldnt have gone anywhere.
the only good thing about it was it had seven seats as the floor in the boot folded out to make a bench seat.
this car even had a new engine with turbo and it was still crap.
best thing that ever happened to it was it goin down for scrap

Absolute worst car I've ever driven was a Citroen AX - it was shite in every way imaginable. The first time I met my girlfriend's family the reverse gear failed on me (one of a number of times it did this, I might add), so when it came to leave, her, her two brothers and her dad had to push me backwards up the steeep drive.

I ended up selling it for 20p, and counted myself fortunate.

That's a shame, because my first car was a Citroen AX Debut, 1.0 with a carb. Light (which helped with the lack of power) and great fun to chuck round corners. I never had a major problem and enjoyed driving it. Yes, it was a bit tinny, but it was a hell of a lot better than the Metros most of my mates had.

Dammit, you've got me reminiscing now - it was light, it was cheap, I could fit a hell of a lot of stuff in the back, and I could fix it (most of the times) when it developed a fault. And it never stood any chance of getting nicked. You've got me all misty eyed now

Then I remember the lack of a fifth gear, the way it used to get blown all over the motorway, the way things would always be falling off it, the way my mates would laugh at me remorselessly, and the way it was tinny with a capital TIN.

I guess it rates as the crappiest car I've driven as I never drove a Metro (nearest I got was a very old Rover 214), or a Talbot Horizon (although my dad had one, just before I started to drive), or a Fiat Panda (my ex swore by her Panda) - all worse cars than an AX IMHO, but ones which I just never had the pleasure of driving.

Got to disagree on the Pug 206 I'm afraid - I've had a 1.4 HDi from new (2005) and it's a great car.

120,000 miles, still on original battery, exhaust, clutch, and everything else under the bonnet except for a new starter motor six months ago. Comfortable, decent stereo, reliable, 25 quid a year road tax and seems to run on air most of the time. Not very exciting I know, but I've got me Rocco for that!

Worst car I've ever driven without a doubt was a Smart car. Horrible, rattly, underpowered deathbox.

I rather push my VW, before i would considering driven korean.

Without a shadow of a doubt, the worst car I have ever driven was my Dad's 1989 Merc W124 estate. It was so under powered that a team of slugs towing a wheelbarrow could overtake you, and due to it's size and the suspension made from marshmallow a Saturn V rocket could out handle it.

The worst thing was the stupid handbrake, or should I say pedal operated parking brake. To release this you had to pull a lever on the dash that resembled the one you pulled on the old Cadbury's chocolate bar vending machines. Hill starts were a nightmare, having to tap dancing between the pedals trying not too roll backwards. I could have won Strictly with that kind of footwork.

They were really poorly made as well, bits of trim used to drop off it daily. And it rusted worse than R2-D2 swimming in the North Sea. A weird thing was the nearside mirror, half the size of the drivers side and useless. Why????????

He eventually got rid and bought a Passat B3. Superior in every way imaginable. Then for some bizarre reason he sold that and bought another bloody Merc W124, but a saloon this time. Again, a complete bag of crap.

I've had everything from a pug 309 (my first car) to BMW m3's and I've lost count of vw's I've had over the years. (I restore classic cars for a living so driven more than my fair share of cars.)

But amongst the very worst I've ever ever driven has to be a 1933 Austin seven rp box saloon. the acellarator is the size of 50p piece drum rod and cable brakes the clutch has about an inch movement in it. The ignition and throttle choke controll are on the steering wheel and the suspension would be more at home on a pram not a car. Not to mention you have start it with a handle on the front of it. On the plus side it has 20 inch rims but seriously All that said it is pretty awesome to own a car that's older than my gran!!

There was also the 1958 BMW isetta with it's mirror image gear box. Non exsistant brakes, 3 wheels some times 2 if you corner too hard and one massive door!

On a more modern note probably more comparible to normal driving. My mate just took delivery of a brand new Mitsubishi l200 raging bull. I drove it the other day and all I can say is it most definatley a load of BULL!! Just feels so cheaply made and totally soulless and very uncomfortable like driving a bouncy castle. Give me a Vw any day ,old or new.

Usually the "crap factor" of a car, directly relates to how much you spend buying it. Not so if its French!
I've had old and nearly new French cars, and they have all(bar one) been an utter sack of horse droppings.
I wont go into the failings as it would take an eternity, and as i've only got til 21-12-12 I thought it a waste of all our time.
Suffice to say, "if you buy French, be prepared to pay the initial purchase price again in repairs.

I've only ever had one French car, and, whilst not being inspiring, it served me well for years. In 1988, I bought a Renault 9, 1.8 litre. Used for years as family car and transporting huge numbers of canoes and mountain bikes. At one time I had a dozen canoes on the roof! and a trailer with 16 on behind. Family holidays with 3 growing kids in the back, 5 canoes on top, towing a big trailer with camping gear and 5 mountain bikes on top! It had a hard life. I finally sold it with over 20000 miles on the clock and still not needing oil between changes. Then my son introduced me to the pleasures of a hot Mki Golf GTI and the rest, as they say, is history.